Sacrilicious Marketing

Can you teach someone to be cool, popular and rich? You might think no, but the answer is “yes.” There is a very specific algorithm to being cool, being popular, being famous, even being wealthy among your group of friends and desired among the masses but I thought Id compile a few tips that might help you understand how being cool works and how you can turn your cool into wealth. There are thousands of sociological research papers that show real data on how you can acquire a following that you can influence, so I thought I teach a few tools to doing just that and capitalizing on it online and offline.

If you dont know who you are, how can you “be yourself”

Im an asshole. No, truly, I am. Or, if you wanted to go all psychological on me, in the DISC profile, I am a High D, High I or in the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator I am an ESTJ (Extraversion, Sensing, Thinking, Judging). What does this mean? I will talk to anyone, charm them with my wit, impress them with my knowledge (yes, some people are easily impressed, I know), watch their reactions and adjust my strategy to meet their needs, and in the end, I will judge them then use my dominance to influence them to make the decision I want them to make. If Im rejected or met with negativity/criticism, if I care, I will confront and move on, if I dont care, I just move one. See thats the asshole personality. Im sure a few of you that have met me are shaking your heads, saying, “youre right, Mary, you ARE an asshole.” And that is the point, I know who I am. And the first step in learning how to be popular is to understand first who YOU are and what your personality will be comfortable with and capable of so you can network authentically and effectively.

My first beef with people that give advice like “hey, just be yourself,” is that most people have no idea WHO they are and what they are capable of so they end up trying to be like someone successful/popular they admire and fail miserably at the game of “cool.” Lets just face it if you are asking the question, “how do I become popular,” youve failed at it so far. So, lets start with 2 really simple personality tests that can help you to understand what your personality type is and what it will be most comfortable with in a networking environment. Remember this – before you can be popular with others, you need to know who you are in terms of 2 primary profiles, the DISC profile and the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.

Cheat sheet for those too lazy to click over to Wikipedia:

DISC Profile

The assessments classify four aspects of behavior by testing a person’s preferences in word associations (compare with Myers-Briggs Type Indicator). DISC is an acronym for:

• Dominance – relating to control, power and assertiveness
• Influence – relating to social situations and communication
• Steadiness (submission in Marston’s time)- relating to patience, persistence, and thoughtfulness
• Conscientiousness (or caution, compliance in Marston’s time) – relating to structure and organization

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator

The 16 different types are often referred to by an abbreviation of four letters, the initial letters of each of their four type preferences (except in the case of iNtuition, which uses N to distinguish it from Introversion). For instance:

• ESTJ – Extraversion, Sensing, Thinking, Judging
• INFP – Introversion, iNtuition, Feeling, Perceiving

And so on for all 16 possible type combinations.

These four dimensions can be grouped in a grid with D and I sharing the top row and representing extroverted aspects of the personality, and C and S below representing introverted aspects. D and C then share the left column and represent task-focused aspects, and I and S share the right column and represent social aspects. In this matrix, the vertical dimension represents a factor of “Assertive” or “Passive”, while the horizontal represents “Open” vs. “Guarded”.

Figuring out your path to popularity

Now, that you know who you are you should have a better idea of what your personality would be capable of doing in order to grow your network and popularity. The fact is, the path to popularity is different for every personality type because some personalities are not suited to networking in an extroverted fashion while some personalities are not suited to criticism.

Popularity is the quality of being well-liked or common. Popularity figures are an important part of many people’s personal value systems, and forms a vital component of success in people-oriented fields such as politics

1. Get attention for yourself Be interesting and be interested

People like people they find interesting so start BEING interesting. Yeah, I know, not helpful. Figure out what you are good at and capitalize on it. For example, I am both shocking and funny so I use off color word-smithing to interest people in my tweets, status updates, blog posts, emails and newsletters. I usually seed out 1 rant topic, 1 hilarious quote, a few industry specific articles, a few funny articles and some relevant/funny videos each day. If I decide to make a real update about my life (which is actually rare) I try to make it witty or insightful. This helps people identify with my personality. Now, if you post videos of yourself, be sure to make them interesting and LOOK great in them. Videos are excellent ways to let people connect more directly with you as they would in person. So, smile, use your wit, self deprecation, sass or whatever you have going for you and give them a taste of your personality along with a big scoop of your skill set.

Conversely, people like people who interact and are genuinely interested in them. So, make at least 40% of your Tweets replies to followers or public Tweets and be sure to comment or post on others walls regularly on Facebook and LinkedIn. Be sure to ask personal questions of people. People love to talk about themselves so give them that opportunity and they will immediately like you. Get people involved in contests or ask them their opinion on a blog post, if you mention them in a post, be sure to let them know and always engage others with direct dialogue, it makes them feel important.

2. Fit in people like people who like them and are like them

OK, deal with it people like people who are like them so this means you need to have common interests, a similar personal and educational background and look like the kind of person they would WANT to associate themselves with. Heres a lesson on social deviance. If you have a nose ring you are not likely to be befriended by a soccer mom. So, if you want to sell to or become popular with a certain demographic look at hallmarks of their style and be sure you fit into that group in terms of interests, tastes, hobbies and appearance. This will make it easier for you to network both in person and online with them. Closely watch the trends that influence your market so you can know what is hot or becoming hot among your market so you can always be a trail-blazer. You can use sites like www.trendtracker.com.

Secondly, and this is often hard for me, like or pretend to like the people you are interfacing with, no matter how much you might not actually like them. I fail this one all the time (remember, I am an admitted asshole). Show genuine interest in people and what they have to say. Now, online this simply means offering them plenty of ways to connect with you on various social networks, asking them questions and getting their opinions. Offline this means much the same but now you need to couple that with some very specific body language and actions. Here are a few examples:

5 tips for showing unconscious interest in what someone has to say:

1. Smile while someone is speaking and lean into them (this makes them feel comfortable and as though you are hanging on their ever word.)

2. Point your toes towards them at all times (this is a subconscious indicator of interest level in conversation) FYI to the ladies and the “playas” – excellent tidbit of information for women on a date shows you exactly how interested a guy is in you and what you have to say)

3. Use their name repeatedly in the conversation (this does 2 things 1. Helps you remember their name and 2. Gives them the sense that you truly care)

4. Try not to shrug your shoulder or place your hand palm side down against your body or in your pockets when answering a question, this is a subconscious indicator of when someone is lying

5. Create an open body appearance. This means your torso should be open and turned towards the person you are talking. To show that you are fully open and approachable, do not fold or cross your arms in front of you.

3. Be mysterious and illusive. AKA Practicing the law of scarcity

You dont always have to have the last word, you dont always have to answer every DM/reply on Twitter or every wall post/comment on Facebook. Just like when you are dating be sure to follow the rules of becoming desired. First, do not get emotionally attached to your online “friends.” Remember, these are people that you are trying to do business of some sort with. So, while you want to engage, dont engage TOO MUCH.The law of scarcity works like this – if you make someone like you first, then you remove yourself from them for a wile and make yourself harder to reach and less available/responsive they will like and value you even more!

5 Tips to being desired and practicing the law of scarcity

1. Dont always be the last to email, comment, reply, DM, etc. Make a commitment to yourself to leave the party before you start looking desperate. So, do not obsessively comment or reply to people on your own discussions or theirs. More often than not, let them be the last to speak. It will help them desire your company more and desire is a component of respect.

2. Every once in a while take some time away from social networking and let people wonder what you were doing. You dont want to make it seem like the only life you have is your online life.

3. Also, NEVER be needy. That is so unattractive. So, dont nag someone until they answer you, its just lame! Dont try to understand why someone unfollwed you or keep replying to someone who never replies back. There are like millions of people online so if soemone doesn’t talk to you anymore or ever – just move on to someone else.

4. Be bold and willing to say the things others would not. This might mean being vicious and confronting someone that is being a complete douche online or harassing someone else. Most people are way too politically correct to confront someone else but they all want to be a hero, so creates an event where they can live vicariously through you and you get to be a hero. Now, dont go out and confront everyone, but once in a while, play super hero and protect an attacked blogger or tell of an online injustice. Give people a reason to respect you and WANT to count you among their friends.

5. Be coy and flirty. This actually works for both men and women and goes back to the “people like people who like them” theory. Compliment people regularly and show you like them by remembering their name and birthdays. Check in with them from time to time it shows you care and people like to feel cared about.

4. Be confident and prepared.

People are most likely to follow you and want to be your fiend if you are confident in yourself and your skill sets. That means, speak with authority, talk yourself up (being pompous or self deprecating can work depending on your level of wit and general demeanor), make decisions quickly and always be prepared. This basically means that if you meet a group at a conference you have already planned and made reservations at a hot local restaurant for lunch. This shows people you were 1. Thinking of them 2. Researched the local scene 3. Are organized and prepared 4 are a leader that will protect and take care of his/her tribe.

5. Collect a database and keep in touch with people so you can generate income now and into the future

Now, here is the real key. Both online and offline you need to be collecting a database of contacts. Your database is your lifeline to making income now and in the future and developing long lasting, tight connections with the people you have met that might be able to assist you in the future.

5 Tips for collecting a database online and staying in touch with people

1. Make sure there is a solid and relevant call to action on your website/blog that gets people to provide you with their email address and log that in your database. Sacrilicious uses free ebooks and webinars to build our database.

2. Use landing pages and PPC to create instant traffic to your site, conversion and grow your database. This is probably the most effective instant solution to cash flow. You simply set up a few landing pages designed for conversion and hire and Adwords pro and you can be cash flow positive in days plus collect a large database of people to market to in the future. I like the landing pages to offer something free like a webinar or ebook so you get the email regardless of whether they are ready to buy now or not.

3. Always collect business cards at conferences and events and enter them into your database.

4. Offer multiple ways to connect with you directly. Make sure your website, blog, newsletter and email signature have links to all your social profiles especially Facebook. Facebook allows you to create groups so you can easily message blocks of people regularly.

5. Use a newsletter/email tool like www.ConstantContact.com to send your database regular updates on what is happening with you and your business. Always include a call to action like a discount, coupon, or limited time offer so you can see immediate return on investment.

Bonus Tip – Try to take your online network offline by attending meetups and tweetups and even inviting online friends to dinner occasionally – this will help you strengthen the bonds of those relationships so they can result in more meaningful interactions.

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