Sacrilicious Marketing | Shock and Awe Marketing

The art of a good PR story is knowing how to spin it with Disney moments

Snow White & The 7 Dwarfs Before the Disney PR Spin! Ho White.

What Would Snow White Look Like Without Her Disney Moments? She was a single girl, living with 6 miners and a Doctor! I’m just saying, without a song and a tap dance the story loses its PG rating. For God’s sake,  whatever is going on here, requires someone capable of writing prescriptions. No good can from that. And, no, I am not proud to tart up a time-honored fairy tale just to make a Public Relations point. Not proud at all…

Bill Gates was a college drop out that started a world-class multi-billion-dollar company. Jewel lived in a van down by a river and hung out with street gangs before she made it big yodeling. Kurt Cobain camped under a bridge for a while before fronting the most famous grunge band ever. Mrs. Fields was a desperate housewife before she baked a batch of cookies that changed the world and set the stage for more housewives like Martha Stewart to turn baking into a billion dollar business. And one of the greatest single mother stories of all time, JK Rowling was living in poverty on government assistance until she wrote Harry Potter! Great stories, right? Makes you feel like you too can spin hay into gold. But here’s the kicker, each and every one of these stories is PR spin – a Disneyfied version of the truth.

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`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

-JABBERWOCKY

Lewis Carroll

(from Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There, 1872)

Remember reading Lewis Carroll’s Jabberwocky for the first time? How the words felt foreign but familiar all at once? You immediately made sense of what seemed completely nonsensical.

You hear “slithy” and know it is something between lithe and slimy, “mimsy” is both flimsy and miserable, “galumphing” is galloping while triumphant and “chortling,” is chuckling and snorting at the same time. By simply blending 2 words into a new one, Carrol introduced the world to an entirely new vernacular in Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There. We call these blended words portamanteaus… and, today, we create and use them everywhere. Tabloids turn celebrity couples like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie into Brangelina. New technologies birth words like netiquette, sexting and textpectation almost daily. Master chefs push the boundaries of fusion cuisine with frankenfoods. Authors like Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner explain hidden causality in the theory of Freakonomics. Girls cringe when they hear the terms “cankles” and “fugly.” The Red Hot Chili Peppers even injected portamanteau into their music in Californication.

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I read an article over at Harvard Business Publishing that made me think about the dynamics of men and women in the work place and what works and what does not work. The post is actually about trans-gender employees in the workplace but touches on how some see a marked difference in how they were treated as a male as opposed to how they treated as a female. While I cannot speak to the transgenders, being 100% female factory direct, I can speak to the treatment of women in the office.

I recall in my early days in corporate America being treated with some condescension and reproach. Of course, these were the days when I was fresh from college (that little bastion of Liberal Thought on the Charles), wearing pant suits and minimal makeup. When I think back, I see that I was trying to be a man in a man’s world. It was not effective. And the reason? We, women, asked to be treated like equals. What the hell does that mean? Treat me like a man? Talk to me like a sailor on shore leave? Crack my ass with a towel in the locker room? Tell me a sacrilegious joke at the water cooler? Invite me out to cognac and cigars at a gentleman’s club? Probably not what Gloria Steinem was envisioning when she said “equal.”

Resource: If Women Were More Like Men from Harvard Business Publishing

So what is it women want in the workplace?

Let’s start with what I don’t want. I don’t want to be asked to go staple or file or type something. I don’t want to have to get coffee or water or tea. I don’t want to have to sleep with a mid level executive to get an office with a window. Now what do I want? I still want doors opened for me, I still want to be the center of attention and I definitely want to be invited into the inner circle so I can get more, better, faster deals done. So, how does a little girl get invited into the Old Boys Club so she can do that?

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How to Bake Gaming Mechanics into Your Next Marketing Campaign

Ingrained deep into each of our psyches is the desire to be acknowledged with a pat on the back or a “good job” every once in a while. In an age where “friend” means clicking an “accept” button on a website rather than doing the heavy lifting required in building friendships of yesterday, the pat on the back has also taken on an easier to achieve virtual format. Watching content you create get a thumbs up or seeing your virtual stock rise with the addition of more “friends” and “followers” or assessing your stock pile of virtual livestock, badges and gifts is all the reward some people need to engage over and over with a product, brand or event.

Consider Twitter, Facebook, Farmville, SCVNGR. Watching your follower and friend base grow and engage with you on Twitter and Facebook is rewarding while the endless collecting of cows and crops on Farmville or badges on Foursquare gives you a sense of superiority or envy as you compare your assets to those of your neighbors. In the case of SCVNGR, the completion of particular sets of actions gives a sense of accomplishment as you reach a finite reward that you can redeem. These are simple yet effective implementations of gaming mechanics into marketing campaigns to drive both loyalty and usage among consumers.

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Image courtesy of my friend and Playboy Golf's, Courtney Neitzl | Click to see more images of Courtney

Arghhh, those darned Danish skallywags, finally figured out chasing music sharers just ain’t a wise move. After millions of dollars were spent by the Denmark based anti pirate group, Antipiratgruppen (I’m not even making that up), it’s legal counsel, Mary Fredenslund explains to Politiken it will put an end to its legal pursuit of pirates.

“It requires very strong and concrete evidence to have these people convicted. We simply could not lift the burden of proof,” says Fredenslund. And the facts substantiate that. In the past year, four cases against alleged pirates have come before the High Court in Denmark and the overall result for the copyright holders has been negative. Three of the defendants were acquitted due to insufficient evidence, and in the one case where a file-sharer was convicted, the defendant had confessed. So, that kind of news has got to suck for the US music labels who are still in cahoots with the film industry to take down Pirate Bay and basically just freaking the F out over any and all music pirating sites. Hell, they’ve even been able to convince some artists like Lilly Allen that music piracy is killing their industry!

Resource | Lilly Allen Says Crazy Stuff, Joss Stone is Sane

Resource | Anti-Piracy Group Throws in the Towel, Pirates Walk Free

Funniest Thing About Music Piracy? It’s considered “Organized Crime.”

Most Interesting Statistic on Piracy? File Sharing represents 35% of all Internet traffic.

Why is the music industry freaking the F#$! out about this piracy issue?

Let’s look at the numbers. Since the 90s, the consumer spend on recorded music has dropped from its high of $14.6 billion in 1999 to $10.4 billion in 2008. Forrester Research predicts that by 2013, revenues for recorded music will reach as low as $9.2 billion. Why? File sharing and college kids. The college market is the largest consumer market of recorded music. In the early part of this decade, college kids started using file sharing sites like Napster where they could freely share music. Why pay for music you could get for free from your friends? Sales started to decline and the music industry got nervous, taking aggressive legal action against Napster in 2001. But cutting off Napster’s head did not slow the decline in sales, hundreds of new file sharing sites and services popped up to take its place. In 2003, the Great White Hope, iTunes debuted a legal music download solution and the pay per tune model was cemented. Sadly, that same year, The Economist reported, “paid digital downloads grew rapidly, but did not begin to make up for the loss of revenue from CDs.”

Resource | Film: Steal This Film | The Story of the Pirate Bay Raid

(I highly recommend this film – it is a real eye opener on how Hollywood can pressure a government into action and how file-sharing really works and a business model that would embrace it.)

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You are only 6 degrees of separation away from the 1 person who will change your life on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn or any other large social network. This person could be the investor that drops a bundle in your business to make you the next Google or the swimsuit model that proves to be the love of your life. OK, that’s reaching a bit, you’re on Twitter (AKA you’re a geek) and unless you are @johncmayer, you are not getting the swimsuit model. And yes, this is another Mary teaches sociology through pop culture post.

So, now lets delve into another social theory that can help you to interact best with your online network. Lets start with a social network we all know and love – LinkedIn, the entire network is built around the six degrees of separation principle (and, no, not the movie where Will Smith plays a gay grifter). This theory, more commonly known in sociology as the “small world phenomenon,” states that if a person is one step away from each person they know and two steps away from each person who is known by one of the people they know, then everyone is at most six steps away from any other person on Earth. LinkedIn capitalizes on the theory by allowing you to connect with the connections of your existing network, thereby expanding your personal network and bringing you closer to more influential people that can help to forward your career. There is great value in the theory behind LinkedIn, however few people actually use the network effectively and instead are happy to remain connected to their existing network rather than begin the process of expanding it to reach those more influential members.

References from Wikipedia:

• Social Network
• Six Degrees of Separation/Small World Theory/Shrinking World Theory

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ROI on Various Marketing Channels

With over 6K people calling themselves everything from “Social Media Guru” to ” Social Media Super Hero” I’m just gonna call it like it is. 90% of you are full of crap and have no idea what social media is or where it’s place is in an overall marketing plan and are generally spouting personal dogma and there is a high likelihood you are socially and physically retarded. Ouch, huh? And yeah, I’m gonna be controversial and obnoxious, just the way you like your Mary McKnight. Here’s the skinny. I am a marketer. A REAL marketer. Meaning, I have directed large scale integrated online and offline marketing campaigns and budgets for REAL enterprise sized businesses and in a REAL business we measure results on each campaign and budget accordingly. In a real marketing environment, there are some accepted budgeting standards. Take a look at the chart on the left (courtesy of Hubspot). Hmmm, social media and blogging are ONLY 8% where a company or brand’s leads and sales come from. Meaning they are only spending a maximum of 8% of their marketing budget and time there and they EXPECT to see a return on that investment. So, if they expect to see a return on it, social marketing is a lot MORE than just Twitter and Facebook. And they EXPECT the people they hire to do social media to have a handle on marketing as a whole discipline!

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I need to caveat this with – if you offended by the F word or have an abnormal love for Pandas don’t read this post- you are sure to be completely and irrevocably offended. This is the very post that launched 1,000 PETA freaks unleashing on me over at sacriliciousmarketing.com so steer clear if you are easily offended.

The one key thing I ever took away from those school field trips to the zoo was that Panda’s are so freakin’ lazy they deserve to be endangered and we should stop helping their lazy asses. I also took away that I never wanted to be a zoo keeper because they have to shovel lion poop and I can’t think of anything more degrading-ly dangerous (but this point is irrelevant to the story at hand). For those of you that skipped field trips to Zoos, here’s the skinny on the fat lazy but completely adorable Panda. Pandas are so lazy they can not mate without a tactical team of Chinese zoo keepers. My brain nearly explodes at the thought of a bear that will not procreate (the only thing it really ever has to do for survival) and sticks to eating plant life more lazy than itself, bamboo. Clearly bamboo does not do anything for testosterone levels (just a note to the guys, stay the hell away from anything made of bamboo – your very manhood is at stake!). Don’t you just want to shake this fur ball and yell, “you’re a fucking bear! Go screw a mamma bear and eat meat.”
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Lindsay Lohan with a Knife

Ever wonder why we were so willing for forgive Marion Barry for getting caught smoking crack with a hooker or why we can’t help ourselves in giving Britney Spears yet another chance to revitalize her career and screw up her kids? The psychology of forgiveness is complex. There are people we will forgive anything and there are people we will forgive nothing. Our forgiveness boils down to two very specific things – our love for the person or entity and our overall desire to trust them. Nowhere is this more evident than in our ability to forgive some celebrities anything and others nothing.

What does any of this have to do with marketing?

Reputation management is always a hot topic in marketing- it is where PR crosses paths with shock and awe marketing at Forgiveness Rd. Truth be told there only two real paths to forgiveness in a consumer’s mind. Love and Trust. So, how can you earn love and trust through marketing? Take a page from what works and does not work for celebrities.

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OK, I’m gonna get all Ivy League “thinky” on you. If you think you can handle a dash of Mary sans controversy, read on. Oh, yeah, I also pull out my sociology degree in this one, so be prepared for theory and statistics. Its gonna be hot and a little heavy.

In sociology, there is this funky monkey number called the Dunbar Number AKA “the theoretical cognitive limit to the number of people with whom one can maintain stable social relationships.” That number is generally accepted to be around 150. Basically what this means is that when you grow your personal social network beyond 150 people, you have a difficult time directly interacting with each of those 150+ people in a meaningful, stable inter-personal way. Which makes perfect sense offline, but online, we ought to be able to improve upon that with so many social networks, email and chat programs that allow us to message and interact with groups of people and individuals alike. However, some data suggests that people using social networks interact with only 5-10% of their available networks. Essentially, this means that online networks although larger are actually not as robust because they are not being used effectively to reach or expand a persons personal Dunbar Number.

For those of you that read Malcolm Gadwells The Tipping Point, the Dunbar number might ring a bell. In the book, Gadwell asserts that the Dunbar Number of any given human being is critical to their level of influence over others and the tipping point for any given event. Tipping points are “the levels at which the momentum for change becomes unstoppable.” Gladwell defines a tipping point as a sociological term: “the moment of critical mass, the threshold, the boiling point.” Whats interesting here is that if you as an advertiser or marketer seek to message to the influencers AKA the connectors or those individuals with higher Dunbar Numbers and therefore more connectivity to the general market, you can spread your brand and/or message through the collective conscious faster and more virally. And isn’t that what you want to do? Get your message to as many people as possible?

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